• ebhowell

“I Forgot”

A simple explanation that turns into something bigger.

Friends have asked me, “Why did you stop taking your Meds?”

It wasn’t intentional.

“It was similar to taking yourself of any medication when you are feeling fine, like the 10-day antibiotics that makes you feel better by day 5. You forget,” I explained. There are pills left in the bottle and the script says to keep taking them until its empty, but you stop when the unpleasant symptoms have disappeared.

There are two reactions when I’m selling my rationalization: One who nods because they have done the same and the person who squints in disbelief and I can see them wondering, “Why would you not keep taking them?”

It could have begun with forgetting to take a morning dose. The plunge.

This is where and when and why it likely started. This is the point where, I looked at the two pink pills that I should have taken hours earlier, they sat in the little pill reminder slot-of-the-box and thought, I feel fine, maybe I should take less tomorrow? Skip the morning doses all together or take only the odd days.

I created my own in-balance.

The innocent mistake of “forgetting” turns into a pattern and before too long, I took so little that my level was no longer therapeutic, but I believed I was fine.

Lesson of the Day: Follow your doctor’s instructions & listen to your mother:

Hazel never understood Liddy’s resistance to follow her doctors’ instructions listed on the bottle. Hazel believed bipolar episodes could be avoided, she didn’t think it was hard to follow their instructions. Hazel saw that not taking enough lithium would end in a disaster; Liddy’s brain would eventually be misguided by abnormal biochemical levels like a mis-wired house waiting to spark a fire.

- As Much as I Care to Remember

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